Shadow Maps
by 11X.d
Summary: After her name an honorific would likely never follow, and she'll retire from her career slightly disgraced, all because she was made an offer she couldnt' refuse. Ino centric. Slight ShikaIno


Summary: Ino is made an offer she really cannot refuse.

A/N: The italics and Ino's thoughts. Please enjoy and review.

* * *

When she was first made the proposition by the Hokage she had to strongly fight against the urge to curse at the woman sitting in front of her. The old lady dressed up as a shell of her past beautiful youth went on talking as if Ino didn't realize the insult that had been just tossed to her face. She was undermining her, just like all the others. The one person Ino figured would understand her frustration of being ignored or assaulted for her appearances was in fact judging her according to what she emitted physically.

So Ino stood, listening to the Godaime's speech as if she couldn't read between the lines, and that she didn't realize the backhand this gesture was giving to her career as medic, as if she was really the dumb blond everyone, including the Godaime thought of her to be.

"In these fragile times special kunoichi's are more needed than medic ninjas."

_You lack skills in medicine, might as well go for a profession which you'll suck less in._

"Don't worry; your honor won't be tarnished by anyone. I'll see to it."

_No one will call you a slut or a whore to your face. But everyone will know about it._

"Konoha has its share of brute strength, we need slyer actions and talents, and we believe you can bring that to us, to your village."

_We got our share of future legends and geniuses. What we need now are sluts to open their legs up for extra cash to rebuild this stinking joint. You're perfect for it kid._

"A special kunoichi, Ino."

_A fancy name for slut, whores, or hoes._

"What do you say?"

_I'm making you a chance you can't deny; a chance to be useful._

At the age of seventeen, standing in the hokage's office pretending she wasn't offended, and doing a good deal of hiding it, Ino accepts the position. Though she hated the idea of it, she acknowledges the fact that Tsunade made a wise decision in picking her for the part. After all, the employee was fooling the employer into thinking that she was honored to be positioned at such an level, that she actually _respected_ the woman sitting at the desk nodding in approval, and that is something that one must be born with.

She accepts because the hokage managed to make a valid point. Though that point was never spoken, Ino had functioning eyes and the tact of a kunoichi. She was going to amount to be a simple soldier. A simple soldier in shinobi words means sacrifices, baits, and dead meat.

On the contrary, her friends are developing themselves into legends. Just one look at Sakura and Ino gets the idea. Sakura was no longer the insecure girl Ino met on the playground so long ago. She also grew out of the annoying little bitch she made herself into as a preteen. Sakura was sculpting herself into being useful, because she saw at battlefields and missions what useless people turn into; corpses. Along the way with her fair share of luck and skills she got the chance to be an apprentice, because she was able to remind the Sannin of herself, and team seven brought on faded memories for her teacher. She was growing so big that she couldn't be bothered with a nobody like Ino in her sight any longer.

Ino took up medicine partly out of jealousy of Sakura. The situation was so reversed. Ino was the insecure kid now, who needed something to hold onto. And it had to be medicine, mainly because she wanted to show Sakura off, but also because she saw why a medic is valuable to a team. Ino witnessed Choji's half dead body, and saw Shikamaru's wounds, and watched her teacher choking on his own blood and dying. She figured medicine was fairly easy. It wasn't hard, but she had little interest or talent in it. She made poor lacerations, did sloppy chakra work, and wasn't as motivated as her before sidekick was. Not to mention, during war, medics were the first target for enemies. She guessed Tsunade figured that her pretty face would be a waste if it were left to rot alongside the bloody corpses and offered her the position.

If anyone told Ino when she just graduated from the academy, that when she's 23 and seven years into this sort of buisness that she'll be making money worth a month of missions for tickling a fat, balding old man's ears with her breath, she'd have punched them in the face and told them to drag their ugly asses back home to take a reality check, because she would be Mrs. Uchiha by then. Turns out, that she is making a fortune by doing this most people would find to be degrading,

True to her word, Tsunade did make sure nobody knew, or rather nobody mocked her to her face. But still, there were quite a number of people that knew. She could tell by their looks when they told them she was going on a long mission.

Choji's shoulders slumped, and the disappointed look in his eyes screamed 'please forgive me for being unable to protect you'. _Yeah right, you would have never been able to protect me._

Or the way Tenten slightly scowled just enough for her to think Ino wasn't able to notice it. _Really, you aren't the epitome of an honorable kunoichi either, so don't judge me bitch._

How Kiba's eyes scanned over her body just quickly enough for him not to get a slap to the face by her. Y_ou'll never be able to dream the things I do, and you'll never ever come close to receiving it from me, bastard._

The way Neji turned his head to the side and let out a fake cough showed his judgment. _Please, Hyuuga you got your own dark, sealed away issues to deal with, don't bother judging me on mine._

These people never bothered to actually tell Ino to her face to quit the job. Probably because they figured she was suited for it. Their judgmental brain probably told them, the blond girl is left best as a slut, she doesn't have talent as a truly shinobi. Besides, someone has to get the job done. Ino probably never quit the job herself because she agreed with them on a certain level. She didn't want to get left behind, so she was taking a short cut in making a legacy.

Only two people really bothered to confront her about the issue. Probably the only two that actually cared enough about her to ever bring up that touchy issue with her.

Sakura confronts her a year after she dug into the buisness. She went on seven missions and failed none of them. It was an extraordinary outcome from such a rookie. Ino felt useful for a change and was waiting for her result on the medical checkup she was required to get after every mission. Her pride falters when she sees who walks in with the results.

With her white uniform on, chart smartly squeezed between her hands, and a disapproving glance in her eyes Ino is reminded why she went into this buisness once more.

"Well, you seem to be rather healthy. Clean from any signs of heart failure, diseases, wounds, fractures, or STDs." Sakura puts an emphasis on the last word and Ino's eyes narrow slightly in defense. Sakura sighs and puts the chart on the table and sits down on a chair looking at Ino eye to eye.

"Honestly Ino, what were you thinking?" Ino notices the slight fracture in Sakura's voice. "It's a dangerous position, and the men you're dealing with…If you wind up in the Bingo Book you know the consequences it can hold." _Yeah, if they catch me they'll rape my brains out so bad I won't be able to function as a woman. Who cares, I'm barely functioning mentally as we speak._

Ino laughs slightly. "C'mon forehead girl, the missions you take on are far more dangerous than the things I do."

"Ino your career can become so much more._" Not more than your career._

"Enough Sakura. I've made my choice." Ino crosses her arms showing Sakura in a long time her determined look.

"These jobs are done by-" _I know how that sentence is going to end, you better not say it._

"By who? Who are they done by Sakura?" Ino dares Sakura to answer the question.

Fortunately for their friendship, Sakura is wise enough to keep her mouth shut.

Shikamaru finds out the earliest.

Before she got into any missions, there was a training period. A mentor was assigned to her to teach her about these sorts of things, and Ino is truly shocked by the information that is told. It's a world she hasn't experienced, knowledge that really isn't easy to come by and situations that most people will never understand. Ino is a model student because she catches on fast and takes in the lessons her tutor offers through disguised words and simple stories.

She takes a test on an autumn night. She sets the test up for herself. It was sort of a middle evaluation that she made to test her abilities.

Ino enters a simple tavern on a cool September. She ties her hair high revealing her neckline and dresses in a simple dress, nothing to extravagant or obvious.

She picks her target, a man she recognizes in the Chuunin exams, the puppeteer brother of the Sand skank that hangs around Shikamaru. He seems to be visiting from Suna on a buisness trip. He doesn't have his paintings on his face and isn't on such a serious guard.

She doesn't approach him but weavers him around with tricky glances and gestures to make it seem as if he was the one approaching her. He talks to her smoothly thinking he's this awesome stud. She puts up just enough guard for him to keep his interest. Soon enough, she's seated across his lap with her dress riding up her legs and his hands on too many places at once.

When he touches she pretends it's the right place. When he licks she fakes a gasp. When he enters she acts as if she's inexperienced. When she calls out his name she pretends it is someone else's name. When it's over she lies she enjoyed it.

When she leaves the motel alone at dawn to find Shikamaru staring at her with crossed arms and bags under his eyes, she acts as if she isn't shocked or ashamed.

They walk side by side back to her place. He drapes his jacket over her shoulders and Ino tries to hold back her shudders. His hands squeeze her shoulder and she's thankful for her long hair covering her face. He sighs and she bites her cheek to hold back her tears.

He takes her hand and squeezes while looking up at the sky. She knows he's reminiscing their past, when things weren't this screwed up and rose colored lenses still covered them blind.

"Ino…" He doesn't finish. She doesn't dare to talk.

After some time Ino musters up the courage to ask, "How did you find me?" _Will you always find me?_

"I followed your shadows." Ino shuts her eyes, Shikamaru's hand squeezes harder.

"Ino, you-…" Shikamaru doesn't finish. He never does, he never will.

* * *

Chakra molding is an excellent skill of hers now. Ino uses it to manipulate her looks to fit the target's tastes. This time, she's a meek under-aged brunette with disproportionately large breasts. The man's pushing fifty five and Ino can feel that he enjoys it when she acts vulnerable with mewling sounds. His breath speeds in her ear and she is tempted to rip out his voice box and castrate him all together. When it's all over she decides she'll do just that. It won't be a clean cut, but she figures he's not an important figure enough for Tsunade to care.

When she does just that and he chokes on his own blood Ino feels her hands shake.

She wonders what would have happened if she let Sakura finish her sentence. She feels remorseful now that Sakura doesn't voice her disappointment anymore.

She feels sad that even the disapproving bastards don't bother to judge her anymore. At least back then, they were close enough to judge her.

She especially regrets that autumn night. It if hadn't occurred, Shikamaru might not speak in riddles around her anymore, and possibly the warm attachments of shadows tickling her foot trails would still follow her to this day.

Ino laughs at the irony. She's built a successful career, and she fulfilled her goal of becoming useful. But she never felt this helpless before.

_Please find me._


End file.
